Wednesday, December 17, 2008

and speaking of offices...

The other day, my office co-worker pulled one of the meanest stunts I think anyone has ever pulled on me. Here's the thing, I woke up in the morning, had a shower and left my hair to dry naturally ...in waves, like Gisele Bundchen. Ok sure, I took a valarian the night before to do some natural relaxation, and yes, I was feeling a bit groggy (even though it's just a natural substance), but the hairs on my head were still perfectly wavy and Gisele-like. So, I get to work and start making myself some oatmeal like I normally do, when my co-worker leaps out from the corner of the kitchen to my side, like a stout old cat, immediately clasping her hand to her mouth, and GASPING in horror, "Oh no GIRL, what's WRONG with you?!" She clasps onto my arm, "Oh girl, what's wrong, are you ok?" I'm confused. Clamping her claws into both of my arm, she turns me around and directs me out the door. "Come here, girl, look at this" she says. She shoves me into the bathroom next door, turns on the light, and adjusts my body so I'm looking at myself squarely in the mirror. "What?" I ask incredulously. "Look at your hair!" she exclaims. Ok, is there no better way to tell me that you don't like my hair? Do you really have to physically force me into the bathroom to confront my own hair in a mirror, which you think looks horrible, but which I think rather looks like Gisele Bundchen's hair, and watch me watch myself the whole time I realize what you are saying? Why did I even let you direct me into this situation? But more to the point, have you ever looked at your own hair? It NEVER occured to me to shove you in front of a mirror and pin you down so that you could view the grease caked on your own head. It did not occur to me to ask you if you'd even washed it this week, because THAT's just plain mean, and would have made you feel bad. So, really, office co-worker, was there no better way to tell me that you thought my hair looked funny? I was too busy at work that day to properly vent, but now that I'm not busy anymore, I'd just like to say lkajdofiugaLlkjaodiflkj. And, my name is not Girl, so FUCK you!

Sunday, December 7, 2008

why am i punctuating?

Ok, so here starts my first Perfectly Puncuating blog entry. Let's start with who am I and what gives me the right to perfectly punctuate? I am an anxiously neurotic twenty-something entrepreneur, actively trying to get my business off the ground so I don't have to work in a shitty office, while I work part time in a shitty office. On the outside? It looks perfect. I look perfectly composed, perfectly calm - man, I look like I've got my shit together. Only those who are reallllly close get to experience the dark angry storm cloud beneath my shiny smiling exterior. But I feel like an emotional fraud. I'll be honest - some things, some people just really fucking piss me off - rightly or wrongly so, I'd like to take this opportunity to explore my angry musings, maybe even with your comments, I'll see how how I feel. Ok, so have we cleared the "perfect" part? As for the "punctuating" part, hopefully the answer will become clear as I blog and you read between the lines. At any rate, it's great to meet you - have a *&#$-ing good night.